Sunday, August 2, 2015

A Damned Fine Irish Fest In Dublin, Ohio

In the autumn of 1987 Murphy and O'Brien met at Kelsey's Bar in downtown Dublin, Ohio to share a brew or two. It was a beautiful fall day and the two laughed and joked about their Irish heritage. Around two am the following morning O'Brien said, "Lesh do dis nex yearrrrr". And they did except it became the Dublin Irish Festival which has been on ongoing event since.*

The festival brings in over 100,000 people from all over Ohio and beyond.. It has a true, authentic feel of Ireland.
The very first of Murphy and O'Brien's brain storm took place the following August on a tennis court with an Irish band playing songs from the Mother Country and year by year it greatly expanded until here we are today.

In 2015 the different venues now cover over 28 acres filled with crafts, Irish dancing, bagpipers food stands and, best of all, imported Irish singing groups from the real country. Everything Irish is here except for a famine Two of the very best acts were Socks in the Frying Pan and We Banjos 3. The latter is an outstanding group with the energy of dachshund who has taken 25 Viagra in one hour. You might want to YouTube these folks especially the We Banjos guys.

The queen and I attended an open air Mass filled with as many people as were in attendance for the famous loaves and fishes speech(I think). I like to consider myself as an observer of people and places. For some unknown reason women in halter tops seem to catch my attention. Since I've been to this event before why should I repeat myself with what we saw during past visits? If you attend a carnival you see a tilt-awhirl. When you go to the zoo leopards are going to be on the grounds. So, I try to be attentive to the out of the ordinary. It's more fun that way.

Entrance to the festival is a good deal. General admission is $12. Seniors get in for $10. Those who fork over that kind of cash are either stupid and/or lazy. We stopped in at Kroger's and purchased four canned goods of food. That's what the sponsors, the Catholic Churches, ask for us to get onto the grounds. I take this responsibility seriously. Non-God fearing people might sprint down the vegetable aisle, snag a couple of cans of okra or squash and run out. Not me, I go for baby peas and green beans, the good stuff. If I'm going to see quality entertainment I feel it's necessary to go the extra mile.

Oh, I forgot to mention, there were over ten thousand beer tents on the grounds. You might ask whatever happened to Murphy and O'Brien. They have their statues inside with inscriptions reading:

Murphy and O'Brien two men indeed
Started this show in the hours of wee
hoist a pint or two in their memory
died at the stall, too old to pee.**

*I made this part up. But it was fun doing it.
** This, too, is sort of fictional but what the hell.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

What's So Special About Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking is reputed to have one of the greatest brains on the planet earth. He's even considered to have a higher IQ than Ted Cruz and Antonin Scalia combined. What I'm trying to figure out is if's he's so intelligent why doesn't he come up with a way to get up out of his wheelchair and take a leisurely stroll?
Stephen Hawking's photo.

Friday, July 31, 2015

Wisconsin's Best Motel

If you've ever read this blog you know I'm an expert on motels. While working I drove 75,000 miles a year and rested my eyes in some good and not so good places.

The cheapest and most ridiculous room was in Brantford, Ontario. The room was pink. The TV antenna was a coat hanger and the place was so small I had to sleep standing up. The cost was $8.00 US currency but since it was 2am in the morning I didn't want to go on a motel hunt.

When the Queen is with me I'll find a place to her liking which usually means well over a hundred dollars. When I'm by myself I go on the cheap. Heck, I've stayed in places so bad I slept in my clothes and top of the spread to save twenty.

On my drive back to Ohio from Minnesota a couple of weeks ago I happened on a place called The Falls Motel in Black River Falls, Wisconsin

Take a close look at the place. Sort of reminds you of the Bates Motel from the movie Psycho, doesn't it? This place is 100% the opposite. Plus, my family doesn't own this string of eleven rooms, either, so no one is beholden to me. Quite frankly this motel is the best place I've parked my car in recent memory.

Don't expect a full breakfast the next morning but there is a continental one in the main office. Those full menu breakfasts add ten bucks to your bill, anyway. There will be no newspapers at your door so go out and buy one.

This is what one receives: A very clean room with a queen sized bed. There is a table with free wifi. A coffee pot with coffee. A shower with clean towels. If you're a smoker each room has a table and chairs located outside the front door. The maid was named Heidi and she received a big tip for the way the room was kept. Oh, yeah, the television has 75 stations. A sign out front said there was a swimming pool but I didn't take the time to check it out. If it had been a mud hole with water it I wouldn't have been bothered because the owners are what we Midwesterners call, "God's people".

So, where exactly is this place, you ask? I'm here to help. Black River Falls is located 90 miles west of Madison on I-94 in western Wisconsin. Exit the interstate south onto Hwy. 54 and drive to the second stop light which is Hwy. 12. Turn left and go approximately one mile then turn left on E. 2nd St. and drive six blocks. The Falls Motel will be on your right. Welcome to Nirvana.

Trust me when I write you'll love this place. The best news is a room costs $47.00. Can you imagine? You will never, ever have to sleep in your clothes on top of the sheets at The Falls Motel. And that's a promise.

#Lions Lives Matter

I had decided to post one last column about Cecil the Lion but it's just too juicy a story to give up on.
The Council Bluffs Cowboy and I were exchanging emails this morning.

He told me about having to listen to an 80 year old liberal woman extoll the virtues of Bill Clinton. He wasn't certain how the conversation came up but the lady(word used loosely) blamed Monica because she took advantage of the Horn Dog. When the Cowboy mentioned 'the other women' the octogenarian wasn't familiar with any of these. Blame it on Alzheimer's.

Anyway, I sent him a note regarding our new pal, Cecil. It was fortunate for the Minnesota dentist and our population, in general, that the big guy was and where it was aka Africa. What if the lion had been a Black tribal lion but roamed the plains of St. Louis. Worse, what if the doctor's name was Sambo?
Then we'd all be subjected to rioting(especially at the renowned St. Louis Zoo) and thousands of signs reading #Black Lions Lives Matter would be on all the non-watched liberal TV shows.

Just a thought on what might be in this wacky world.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

The Worst Commercial Now Playing On Television

Every time this commercial comes on TV I look for the remote for a quick mute. See if you don't agree. No family is this happy-----ever!

Lion Sonogram

Who will save it from a D&C? Animal rights groups up in arms as plans in the works to sell body parts to worldwide zoo organizations. Send money to 'Stop The Slaughter'.